I read an article about various women’s pregnancies in the
magazine ‘Wellbeing’ and it inspired me to write about Soleil’s.
Marc and I weren’t planning on having a child just yet,
especially since I just landed a great teaching position at Confederation Park
Community School, but I believe that everything happens for a reason. Marc and I had been dating a short time, but
we both felt like we had known each other our whole lives. It was coincidental that we just had a
conversation about having children the week before we found out we were
pregnant. I had a bad day at school and
said something like there was no way I was ever having children. Marc said he was okay with that since he
already had 2 wonderful kids. I woke up
the next day and firmly told him I did want to have kids and we had better discuss
it because there was no way I was going to be with someone who did not want to
have children. Marc said he was okay
with having more if it happened sooner rather than later, although I’m pretty
sure he didn’t mean next week! Marc and
I were quite surprised when we found out we were expecting. I was more speechless than Marc. He said he had suspicions because I had been
urinating more frequently and was a lot more tired than usual. That weekend I was spotting and thought I
had miscarried. I felt an incredible,
overwhelming sadness. I felt like I lost
something so precious, even though I just found out 2 days earlier. I can’t even imagine how heartbreaking it
would be to those parents who have had miscarriages. Marc and I went to the doctor that day. After
a positive confirmation, I knew that at that very moment I wanted a baby and I
would do everything in my power to make sure my baby was safe, happy, and
loved.
Throughout my pregnancy I read all kinds of baby information
books. Since I was teaching at the time and reading quite a bit of teaching
material, I appreciated the quick helpful hints from “The Pregnancy Journal; A
Day-to-Day Guide to a Healthy and Happy Pregnancy”. It had great info of what
my body was going through, what my body needed and interesting facts about what
other cultures do all in 2-4 pages. It
also brought a nice balance of information to the monthly sections of “What to
Expect When You’re Expecting”. I
continued going to yoga until I was 7 months pregnant. It wasn’t prenatal, but I knew my body well
enough, spoke to the instructor, and just modified the positions. I ate small
healthy meals, especially with Marc cooking, and went for daily walks up until
the day I had Soleil. I didn’t have any
major cravings or complications. I
continued to receive monthly massages from Dan Oulette and weekly for the last
month. I also added a few sessions of
energy work from sacral cranial therapist, Linda Fisher. It really helped during my second trimester
when I had little to no energy. She said
there was some blockage in my spleen and the day after my treatment with her I
felt amazing again! Overall, I had a wonderful pregnancy.
I never imagined having a home birth. Then again I never imagined having a birth of
any kind. I’m pretty sure I watched a scary video or I overheard my mom telling
scary things from her 7 deliveries in hospitals to make me supress any thoughts
of the kind. I always thought you were
just supposed to go to the hospital to have your baby and that was that. When Marc told me he delivered his daughter
in a planned home birth, it intrigued me.
I did some research and the more I read, the more I knew having a home
birth was the right choice for me. We
made some calls and had our names put on a long waiting list to have a
midwife. We attended informative
prenatal classes at Birth Rhythms hosted by a doula named Jude. She was wonderful and the class was amazing!
We considered hiring Jude for our doula, but it wasn’t in our budget. Marc and I are still in contact with Jude and
the small group of parents from the class!
Coincidentally, we were all looking forward to having home births.
Marc and I tried calling a few more times to the midwives to
see if we got in and we were sooooo lucky that there was a cancellation. We met with our very own midwife, Roz during
my 7th month!!! We were so excited and I
was especially relieved that I wouldn’t have to endure an invasive hospital
birth. At 34 I knew myself. Even though
I’m not a private person I knew I wouldn’t be able to focus on what my body
needed to do to deliver a baby if I had a bunch of strangers around. We began to prepare further for our homebirth
by gathering music, writing out a birth plan, purchasing all the necessary
supplies and nesting all the final details.
Most women have their first child later than their due date so we weren’t
quite 100% prepared with 8 days to go.
The birthing pool was supposed to come the next day and I still had work
to do at school.
It was 9 p.m. on Monday, October 25 and Marc was busy
nesting in the kitchen making muffins and cooking chicken. I was writing a curriculum evaluation that
was due the next day. My contractions
began consistently at 10 minute intervals. I assumed it was false labour. In our class they said to have a warm bath
and they should go away. I finished as
much as I could of the evaluation and at 10pm I went to have a nice warm
bath. I got out of the tub and within a
few minutes they came back, only stronger.
I remember at one point lying across my yoga ball asking Marc when the (according
to our prenatal classes) “happy face stage” would come. In between supporting me through
contractions, writing down my experiences, and baking muffins Marc called Roz
at 1:15 a.m., knowing we were in the ‘transition stage’. When she came in at 1:45 a.m. she was quietly
whispering to Marc. I asked them to be
quite as nicely as I could, because I was trying to focus on what my body
needed. Even their whispering made it
difficult to stay focused. When they
whispered again I lost my focus, my connection to myself. I got out of the tub and began screaming
with more intensity from the contractions.
Marc and Roz were looking at each other as if they were wondering if one
of them should smack me back into the zone. Roz calmly explained that I needed
to refocus and told me I was doing a good job and I was back on track.
I usually don’t take pain relievers in general and
definitely none that could possibly have a significant effect on my unborn
child. I did take 2 Advil right before Roz got there and felt they helped a
lot. During our prenatal classes we
learned that laughing gas has no effect on an unborn child and I felt
comfortable taking it. I asked Roz if I
could have some of that laughing gas now but she said it was too late for that
now as I was going to be having a baby very soon. In some way this helped me
stay on track. I began pushing, my eyes
were closed, and I was listening to what Roz and my body were telling me to
do. She made me feel like whatever my
body was telling me to do was what I needed to do. I knew I didn’t want to be
pushing for four hours so I made sure to give an extra ‘umph’. Three pushes
later, as I was squatting on my bathroom floor with Marc pressing on my lower
back, Roz told me to get ready because I will have to catch my baby. At 2:02
am, after only 5 hours of contractions, Soleil Emma Marie was born a healthy,
perfect 6 pounds and 9 ounces in the comfort of our own home. I was immediately
in love. I looked into her eyes and
said, “Awwwh, it’s a real bay-bee! So
you’re what’s been kicking me for the last 9 months.” We all sat on the
bathroom floor for about 20 minutes in awe of this wonderful amazing creature.
I can honestly say that giving birth to Soleil was the most amazing, wonderful,
miraculous moment of my life. I’m not sure if it’s because she was born in one,
but she has loved bathrooms ever since.
After she was born, we hung around in bed bonding for four days without
getting dressed. Sometimes I can look
at her and start crying because I love her so much.
Beautiful
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